nothing clever to say

I’m really sorry, I don’t know what’s happened. I was looking at this and thinking… I only started using film in JANUARY? I’ve pretty much abandoned my digital camera… it sits neglected… only being used for things like ebay and self portraits. I went from purly digital to 5 film cameras in just over six months. I like the way it looks, what can i say?

Anyway. I’d also like to reiterate that nobody better try to tie me down right now. The one that almost had me is leaving for 1100 miles away, and the last thing I want is to hurt again like I do now.

Really. All kinds. Old, young, in between. Being single again isn’t 100% what I wanted, but if I am going to be, I want to be able to enjoy it.

I want to be able to kiss who I want. I want to touch and feel those things that make gals so amazing… its not that I want to just take it all for my selfish entertainment, I want them to have the time of their lives, too. However, I don’t want to settle down. I don’t want to jump from one exclusive to another.

I want to learn to dance well. To be able to two-step with all the damn fine gals at Ginny’s. To not have to worry about who I’m whispering sweet nothings to when I’m tipsy and in the mood. To not be looking behind my back when I’m talking to a girl, to make sure nobody is angry.

I want to be able to sleep with someone for the pure fun of it, and not have to worry that they want to be all boyfriend and girlfriend.

Taken recently during SXSW and the Lonestar Roundup Kustom weekend. Clicking the photos will take you to their flickr page and you can look around from there, if you’d like.

Its kinda funny how things can change so much. Being single can definitely be a screwed-up experience, but really, I don’t see any other way it could have been. I really DO love living here in Austin, and is there a future with someone who isn’t happy here?

There’s been a helluva a lot going on, what with the Vegas rally, the Dallas rally, SXSW, and now the Lone Star Roundup, so at least I’m being entertained on a regular basis, even if I am spending more money than I want to.

Winter is officially over, and we’re getting that month-long stint of pure rain, and this being my first spring here on the motorcycle more than the Vespa, I have a lot of wet legs to get used to, and carrying my rain gear (and spare socks / shoes) most of the time. At least that’s over soon, and all I will have to figure out is how to balance the heat and being safe (which really means how to I comb my hair after taking off my helmet).

I’m thinking of shaving off my sideburns. Or at least reducing them a bit.

USA Today’s On Deadline blog is a perfect example of why the general public cannot be counted on to change anything… Or more specifically, the comments on their blog. Partisan fighting and name calling amongst the posters is like watching a debate on C-Span. Every story, be it about terrorism, or a puppy in a tree, is broken down into each poster’s take on politics / religion / etc. Nobody offers real solutions, nobody pinpoints any real problems, and anyone who questions the motives of our leaders outside of standard political posturing, is called crazy.
Example — “CharlieE,” in response to reports of Bin Laden regaining control of Al Qaeda:

“The question is whether the White House actually wants to
capture/kill/incapacitate bin Laden at all. As long as he’s at large,
he’s the bogeyman that allows the President to do whatever he wants in
the name of “protecting” us. As soon as bin Laden is captured, that
facade is over.

Ditto for Roe vs. Wade. Roe is a Republican cash cow. Overturning it
would cost money and votes.

It’s all about the big picture - Long term control of the Government.”

Personally, I think that’s the most intelligent and accurate statement I’ve actually seen there. Republicans only support overturning Roe because they count on the religious right for support. Give them what they want, they don’t need to keep giving you money… The job is done. Kill Bin Laden? It probably could be done fairly easily, if the effort is put forth, but CharlieE hit the nail on the head. As long as there’s a terror threat we can put a turban on, we have a vehicle for propaganda.

Of course, in this day and age, you’d think that ulterior motives would be taken in stride, but it seems the general public STILL feel better to think that Oswald acted alone and Bush isn’t listening to THEIR phone lines:

“CharlieE - Don’t forget to wear your aluminum foil hat so they can’t
read your mind. It’s only paranoia if they can see you running ” –
“TerryAUSMarine”

“You take the cake for one of the dumbest comments I have seen in a long
time.” — “Quickdraw”

I love America, the land of knee-jerk reactions and mindless complacency.

Overreaction to Aqua Teen Hunger Force is never attractive. The city doesn’t want to admit its stupidity and is therefore calling it a terror hoax and pressing charges. LAME.

For now… From USATODAY:

Vietnam veteran Sen. Chuck Hagel, R-Neb., has issued an emotional appeal to his colleagues this morning to challenge President Bush and the administration over plans to send an additional 21,500 troops to Iraq, USA TODAY’s Kathy Kiely reports from Capitol Hill.

At a Senate Foreign Relations Committee hearing on a non-binding resolution that opposes Bush’s plan, Hagel said:

• “We owe it to those men and women we continue to send into that grinder.”
• “I think all 100 senators should be on the line on this. … If you want a safe job, go sell shoes.”
• “If we don’t debate this, we’re not worthy of our country.”

A few shots I uploaded to Flickr today:

…and some say I imitate…

I don’t know–I’m just doing the best I can
After all I’m standing in the shadows of a very famous man.

I can feel for Hank Jr.

The man has talent. One of the best honkytonk singers out there, even with the sellout to Monday Night Football. But he is standing in the shadows. Perhaps he wouldn’t have gotten the chance had he not been Hank’s offspring, but whatever. He has proven himself.

I’m not the offspring of anyone important…except to me.

Oh well. I told a cute girl tonight that I have either a high sense of self-preservation, or an intense fear of death. It’s probably the latter, but I don’t want to admit it.

I’ve become fascinated with Marty Robbins traditional cowboy stuff, more than I used to, and I liked it alot before this… but his songs are almost exclusively about death and love and I am fascinated in a sick twisted way, kind of like watching the Hussein hanging. I don’t know what is so great about death (as I have just said that I fear that above all) but there is something about a life cut short for such a high ideal as love, or the other themes - Justice, and just the coincidence of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, it gets me, it drives home to the heart. Maybe its the fact that I AM such a contradiction: intense fear of death, yet reckless behavior. That girl suggested a death wish, but I really don’t think its that. Unless its me subconsciously needing that possibility.

I don’t know. I’m too tired to think about it now.

Excellent. It took forever, but I got my prints from Ritz. They look good, but I forgot to indicate a border on one, so I have one that’s full frame. No big deal, I’ll get new ones later. They are pretty cheap, for prints. Beat the heck outta Walgreens. I know a real purist would use film and develop their own… I hate purists, unless they adhere to MY purity. Ha.

I was looking at Holga cameras on ebay, and I KNOW I should stick to digital… But the lure is there. Maybe when I can afford film and processing, I’ll get one.